Reflections on the Year...

Right now I'm sitting in an empty room in Kearney. I'm basically the only one left in the residential hall so it's really quiet, the most that it's been all year by far. I've been super excited to leave for the summer for so long! I even started counting down the days and hours when "dead" week arrived. But now that I'm able to sit and relax a little bit, I'm quite sad.

This year has been the most difficult year that I have had to live through. Not only was I busy with all of my homework and collegiate work, but I've also had some more personal issues that have brought me down.

To start, this school year began basically the week I was just told that I could get out of the house after having mono. So, I was worn out to begin with. Then the horse that I loved the most suddenly died one afternoon in October. I started getting really homesick and missing the time that I would spend with Dad during Harvest. It was really difficult for me to concentrate while I was in school and yet I would feel depressed when I went home for the weekend. I was basically an emotional wreck.

Most of you know that I was the President for the UNK Chapter of CMENC. That took sooo much time out of my day it was almost ridiculous. Then I was elected as the upcoming chair of the statewide chapter of Nebraska Collegiate MENC Members which is a HUGE honor but also really demanding. Nearly everyday I was in the Fine Arts Building (FAB) from 8:00 AM 'til whenever I went home after rehearsals and individual practice (usually around 11:00 PM or later) then I would start homework. I would try to relax on the weekends but always had something going on, especially here recently. I exhausted myself and paid the price for it, but had to continue. Then, in the midst of all this, my cousin passed away. I knew it was coming, but in reality, you're never really ready for it when it does happen.

There were a number of people that helped me get through this past year, but there are three godsends in particular that held my hand while I was walking through the valleys. The first is Sheila. She has been a trooper for me and has helped me with assignments and so much more. We were a team and where you found one, you'd find the other. It's going to be really hard being the only trumpet section leader next year without Sheila right there. Symphonic Band, Wind Ensemble, Jazz Rock, Brass Quintet, CMENC, helping in the music office, you name it, we were in it, together. The first couple months are going to be very difficult come next semester.

The next is my surprise roommate that transferred in at semester, Kelsey. She took good care of me and made sure that in all my work, I had a little fun to help keep my sanity. When I was working so hard that I would forget to eat supper, she would come to the FAB with a sandwich. She could make me smile when I really didn't want to because of a bad day. Ha! She even had to wake me up more than a few times because I would sleep past my alarm. After a while I started joking with her and called her "mom".

And then there's Dr. Davis. I don't what to say about him, other than he is the reason that I am still breathing. He has helped me with so many different issues that I don't know how he had time to think about himself. In the middle of this semester he let me have the run of his music office so I could go in and work on homework during a dead period in the day in the music office. He spent many hours talking with me and thinking of different ways to approach something, or someone, that I had an issue with and helped me see situations in a different light. I would come to him very upset, either depressed or almost furious, and always walked away with a smile. I can't help it. Jane, the music secretary, says she thinks I may have found another "grandpa". She hasn't seen him take care of a student the way he has with me.

Okay, that's enough reflecting for now. I've got to give one last performance of the year at commencement so I need to be halfway rested for tomorrow morning. Reflecting hurts, yet I realize that I am a much stronger person now than when I started this year.